We’re in a season of uncertainty, plans being overturned indefinitely, and anxiety abounding. In the midst of that, one of my beloved brides-to-be penned words that are honest and true. May this encourage you to wrestle with your own grief and come out the other side full of hope.
“I was supposed to get married today.
But like thousands of brides around the world, I had to postpone my wedding because of COVID. For some people, a wedding is a stressful event to plan and having to cancel or downsize might not be the worst thing (though still disappointing and financially draining). However for me, an aspiring wedding planner, today was supposed to be the coming together of the vision that I’ve poured so much into over the past 12 months. When we made the decision to postpone in early March, I immediately made Plan B and Plan C to try and preserve some semblance of the day’s original meaning. And yet, all of those have fallen through too as even obtaining a marriage license became impossible. I might still get to get married in a month surrounded by friends and family, or this virus-fueled nightmare might make me have to postpone again. Not knowing for sure but seeing my prospects slipping away day by day is agonizing.
I am thankful for a lot right now, truly. My family and I are healthy, I have Albert by my side, I have a job, my friends have been so caring, and the list goes on. And yet, the sum of all these things still doesn’t erase the loss I feel today. I feel selfish and guilty for wanting this when others are facing life or death daily but I have also been learning what it means to lament. When bad things happen to people in the Bible, they don’t just pick themselves up with a smile and carry on right away. They suffer, they mourn, they even ask God “Why me?” David, Job, the prophets, Hannah, even Jesus all lamented. Heck, there’s literally a whole book called Lamentations. What makes lamenting different from outright complaining is faith that the One who we bring our suffering to has the power to bring us out of our suffering. Jesus said “Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead?” So God never gives His children curses instead of blessings. Honestly, I’m still struggling to imagine what could be better than having my dream wedding but I know this for sure: He never takes away without giving something vastly better than our limited idea of good.”